Until Your Heart Stops Beating
by BlackImprint
Summary: "I once told you I would fight for you until your heart stops beating." Jacob pours out his heart to Bella in a letter. One shot, set between Eclipse and BD.


**A/N** _– I've been pondering the idea of this kind of one-shot for the last couple of days. It's a letter that Jacob writes to Bella, after the newborn fight and before he finds out that she's pregnant. If you've read my other stories, you'll notice that the language that Jacob uses here is different to when he muses about Nessie. There's no denying that he loved Bella, but it's very different to the imprint. _

**All Twilight characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, as do some of the phrases in here that are borrowed from the Twilight Saga books.**

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><p>Dear Bells<p>

I once told you I would fight for you until your heart stops beating. I lied. Even as the words fell from my lips, I knew I would still fight for you even then.

I love you just the way you are, Bells. You wouldn't need to change for me. Remember our conversation that day? - _I'm exactly right for you Bella. It would have been effortless for us – comfortable, easy as breathing. I'm the natural path your life would have taken … if the world was the way it was meant to be – if there were no monsters, no magic._

Why won't you understand? What do I need to do to make you see? After all we've been through, why do you keep going back to him? You love me, I know you do. You don't just love me, you're _in_ love with me – hell, you admitted it yourself. But that's not enough, is it? You love him '_more_'.

But you've given me your answer.

You turned your back on the life we could have had – one where we would grow, and grow old, together – for a mythical existence with _him_. How do you even know that what you feel for him is real? This is what they do, Bells - they draw you in, seduce you, and before you know it, you're hooked. What _we _have Bella, this is real. No vampire glamour, no tricks. It's real, genuine and unquestionable.

When we kissed that day on the mountain – what you felt , what we felt - _that_ was real. But all that's left now is a memory. And that memory stomps over and over my heart every day, never letting the wound ever properly heal. The raw ache is always there, along with a glimmer of - dare I say it - hope? I would make you happy, Bells. Why can't you see that? I know you felt it too. _The worse part is knowing what would have been …_

Even lying there with my broken body after the newborn battle, the pain paled in comparison to the ripping apart my heart endured as you told me you had chosen him. I would do anything, give anything, to have your eyes shine with love for me the way they do when you look at him. A part of me dies every time I see you with him. When he puts his arms around, you, every time he touches you, every time you touch him, every time you look at him with such love in your eyes. Every day you rip the wound open again, never giving it a chance to heal. But the irony is, I don't want it to heal. The torture, the bittersweet agony, it reminds me with every excruciating beat of my heart how much I loved you, that I still love you. And it's proof that what I feel for you is absolutely, undeniably real.

I want to be angry with you Bella. I want to accuse you of deceiving me, of leading me on, of using me and casting me aside once I'd served my purpose. I want to condemn you for being incapable of seeing what is good for you. I want to blame you for this bittersweet lesson in human emotions. I want to scream at the top of my lungs – _Is this some sick joke from the universe? Is what I get in return for letting down the walls and opening my heart to you_? I want to hate you so much for hurting me this way - at least in some way that would make it easier to stop loving you. But I can't. I'm so drawn to you Bells, and I can't explain it. It holds me on this side of that fine line between love and hate. So still, I wait for you.

I've often asked myself what's the point of continuing to feel this way about you? You've made it clear that you picked him. But I can't stop. And the stupid thing is, I don't know if I want to stop. I'm still holding on to that pain. As long it's there, it's proof that the love is real, that what I feel for you is real.

You once said that I was your own personal sun. You've got it wrong, Bells. You're my sun. It's _my_ world that revolves around _you_.

This feels as real as any imprint. So long as I live, I will love no other. With the remnants of my broken heart, I will always love you.

I will fight for you, Bells, until _my_ heart stops beating.

Yours, forever and always,

~ Jacob


End file.
